Thursday, March 20, 2014

Deviant Moon Tarot Review

I have used this deck for a couple years.  I only do readings for myself, though.  I don't have the confidence to try to read anyone else.  I have always wanted to learn to read tarot cards.  I have been fascinated by divination of all sorts.  I have gotten only 2 other decks in my lifetime and they never really kept my interest.  I couldn't "get in to" them.  But then I saw this one and it is perfect.

These were designed by Patrick Valenza, an artist from Long Island.  I think they were inspired by the graveyards he used to play in when he was younger.  They images are beautiful and they really speak to me. 

My youngest son got into them when he was 2 and bent the Hierophant.  This was almost 3 years ago and I never got around to ordering a replacement or replace the deck.  I had to special order this (shocking, I know.  I can't find a decent occult shop anywhere near me that isn't really a head shop) so I can't just stop in a pick it up somewhere.  I've been using it but it's hard to ignore the fact that I know which card is the Hierophant. 

The new one is on the left, obviously.  What I really like about the new deck is the feel for them.  They are taller and slimmer.  They feel better in your hands.  The new cards have a stiffer card stock and aren't as floppy.  I look forward to using them

My husband knew I have been wanting a replacement card and he got these for my birthday.  They must have arrived sometime today because I woke up from a nap and they were on my phone waiting for me.  I was so excited!  He's so sweet.  I've been fighting another sinus infection and it wiped me out.  I have been sleeping all day every day this week.  I didn't even eat today because of it.  He always gets me stuff to cheer me up and this is definitely one of my favorite gifts.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Nostalgia and Beef Patties

I have been feeling a little homesick lately.  I grew up in NYC.  My friends and family are still there and I am out in the boonies in Indiana pretty much alone.  I have my children and husband but that's about it.  I feel really out of place here.  It's been almost 14 years and I still feel like an outsider.  I'm just too stubborn to change everything about myself to conform to the small town way of life. Even knowing it's my fault I am unwilling to lose everything about myself to fit in, it still gets to me sometimes. 

Anyway, I've been stuck in my thoughts of home lately and being pregnant, I focused on old cravings.  Jamaican Beef Patties....  I used to have one a few times a week.  There was a corner restaurant on Tremont Avenue in the Bronx which sold many yummy things but Jamaican beef patties were my favorite.  Of course, there is no where around here to get one.  I haven't had one in over 15 years.  I awoke at 4am the other morning with a huge craving for one.  So I looked up a recipe, ran out to the grocery store and made some.

It was my first time making any kind of dough too.  I was quite pleased.  It felt really good cooking again.  I haven't done much except throw something processed into the oven in months.  I hope this means I will do more cooking at home.  I think the next recipe I will search for are Munchers.  It's another fatty snack from the same restaurant.  The closest thing I've found were cheesy tots from Burger King a few years ago.  The ones I remember also had jalapeno peppers.  Fun, fun, I can't wait.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Waiting waiting waiting....

This is a new step for me.  I have always wanted to have a blog but I worried I wouldn't be able to keep it up.  That's always upsetting.  I find a blog I love and all of a sudden, no updates and it stagnates...  Also, I'm not sure what all I have to say and if it actually is worth reading.

So, as I wait, I figured I'd take the plunge and dive right in.  After reading some of my favorite bloggers' Liebster Award posts, I found out many have started their blogs not knowing what they wanted to say.  I guess this will just find it's way organically and I will just let it come to me.

It's 6am where I am.  I am awake to run some jobs for my work otherwise I would sleep in.  And by "sleep in" I mean sleep until 7:30.  I am an IT professional.  I work weird hours and I have to do some weekend coverages from home.  I don't mind working at home at all.  It's the waiting that gets to me...  I am a very impatient person.

A few things about me, I am a mother of 4, 3 boys and a step daughter.  I am married to a wonderful man and we are expecting another little boy in July.  I work full time in IT.  I am a student as well.  I was born in Canada, grew up in NYC and now reside in the Midwest.  I'm not very happy with where I live but I try to deal with it.  I have 2 cats who have issues.  The past year has been very hard for me and my anxiety hit a new high.  I love fashion but I can't afford to look the way I want to.  I love food and cooking.  I've become very antisocial and almost paranoid.  I would love to move further into the country to avoid as much social interaction as possible.

I wish there were more goth-y parent blogs.  I would love to see how other parents balance parenting and the gothic lifestyle.  Parenting is tough as it is.  Throw in the stereotypes and stigmas of being goth and you have a whole 'nother world of contention to face.  I have tried to conform and I was absolutely miserable.  I don't feel like me most days.  I am a mom and I work for a global corporation and I live in a small town.  None of those are ideal situations to look the way I want to.  Wearing black, heavy eyeliner and dyed hair don't work well here.  It causes a lot of unneeded and unwanted attention.  It's a funny contradiction.  Most people say goths look this way to get attention and many goths I know just want to be left alone.  I am the latter.  I do feel if I lived in a different city, I might be able to thrive.  But as it seems I am a misfit and I feel extremely uncomfortable most days.

That is all for now.  I will get back to my waiting...  waiting for jobs to run, waiting for my onion rings to heat up, waiting for something decent to watch on TV, waiting to wake my son for his medication, waiting for a miracle, waiting for this winter weather to STOP, and just waiting.....